Contemporary neuroscience shows us that the more we focus on something the stronger our neuro pathways become. The more we think about it, literally the stronger it gets.
To change our lives, be happier and less fearful, we have to redirect our thoughts to focus on what we want to grow.
Let me give you two examples…
The first provided me with a whole lot of learning. I had a coaching client who wanted to leave her senior associate position at a big law firm, yet her mindset was stuck.
With every avenue we explored, she drew a big mental X through it. She focused on what she could NOT do.
I tried but didn’t get through to her. In a pivotal session, she said, “I know what’s going to happen, I’m going to make partner.”
I said, “But you don’t want to make partner…Let’s focus on what you do want.”
She burst into tears and ran out of the room.
Ultimately, she did become a partner. Because of this experience, I now include more tools to help clients quiet their inner critics, and focus on what they DO want.
Now, I’m happy to share a more positive outcome from the WILL Pilot.
One participant started with thinking: “I can’t leave my firm. My practice group needs me, I don’t want to let them down”
By the end, she is now focused on: “Not only can I, but I will leave my firm!”
She has given herself permission to work in politics, a field she feels strongly about. My client is taking steps to work in a progressive nonprofit and influence policy.
She continues to take action: updating her resume, leveraging alumni resources and talking to people. I have complete faith she will achieve her goal, and leave the billable hour behind!
We can choose our thoughts. It takes practice. Take a deep breath, then ask yourself these questions to refocus on what you DO want.
- How does thinking about ___________ serve me?
- What do I want to grow in my life? (Relationships, career change?)
Write it down. Water it with supportive, encouraging words and thoughts. Then watch it grow.