Before I set off on the Camino de Santiago, a long-distance walking pilgrimage that winds through Portugal into Spain, I needed new shoes. So off I went to REI (I ♥️ REI!) to get fitted.
Only… they didn’t have my size.
Now, here’s where it gets funny.
My feet are pretty big. I usually wear a size 10 ½.
Too small.
Then I tried on the 11s. Still too small.
By this point, I was laughing. How were these still too small?! 😆🤣
My toe was bumping up against the front of the shoe on my left foot. I grimaced at the salesman who looked up the shoe online…
“They do come in size 12. We don’t have it in stock, but you can order it!”
So I laughingly did what I had to do, and ordered a size 12 online.
And yep… they’re big. Like clown-shoe BIG. (Plus they’re pink with a rounded toe-box so I’m not kidding when I say clown shoes.)
But they’re also perfect. Not in the traditional perfectionist sense—but perfect for me.
They gave my feet space to breathe and swell after miles of walking. They supported me every step of the way, even if they made me look a little goofy.
Learning to Love Something Unconventionally Beautiful
I’ve come to love my big feet.
I really mean it. I love how wide and sturdy they are. I love that they help me stay grounded (literally), that they carry me through every day on Earth.
Almost every night before bed, I give them a little massage and whisper a quiet “thank you.” It’s my tiny act of self-love—something that used to feel indulgent and now feels self-loving.
Maybe you have something like this, too—a part of you that’s not “ideal” by magazine standards, but you love it anyway.
What’s a Part of You That You Love?
Let’s go deeper here.
What’s a part of you that you love?
It doesn’t have to be a body part, though it could be. It might be a quality you bring to your work, your family, or your friendships. Maybe it’s your sense of humor, fierce loyalty, or ability to manage a project with hawk-like oversight.
One of my clients recently told me she pulled together a wedding in just 30 days! How amazing is that? That’s something to love about oneself.
Perfectionism is Exhausting. Let’s Talk About It.
Over the past few weeks, in the WILL (Women Interested in Leaving Law) Community, the topic of perfectionism has come up again and again.
The expectation to be flawless, especially for women lawyers, is real.
You withstand layers of pressure, performance expectations, and scrutiny. They probably weigh you down. A typo in an email? That could lead to public or private shaming. The bar is set so high, and the consequences for even the smallest slip, can feel enormous.
I hear your stories.
I know you’ve lived them.
Often the external perfection ideals become internalized. And your inner perfectionist can be more brutal than what anyone else could say to you.
A Simple Way to Start Quieting the Inner Perfectionist
So here’s one way to start loosening that perfectionist grip:
Love one thing about yourself.
It doesn’t need to be big or grand or public. It just needs to be real.
Maybe it’s how you play with your dog or cat. Maybe it’s how you’re always the one who remembers people’s birthdays. Or maybe it’s your big feet in size 12 shoes that carried you across Portugal and into Spain.
Self-love doesn’t come from being perfect.
It comes from noticing your small, human attributes, and loving them anyway.
Start Small. Start Real. Start Today.
The more you practice loving those small things, the more space you create. Space to breathe. Space to be human.
And the more love you give yourself, the less room there is for that perfectionist voice to take over.
So go ahead. Love your size 12s. Love your hawk-like diligence. Love your wildly spontaneous side or your methodical precision.
Start with love.
That’s where the real power is.
