The other night at 3 AM, I was visited by a parade of “shoulds.”
“You should have done this differently.”
“You should have left more time for that.”
“You should not have said no when you did.”
“You should have said yes to this when you didn’t.”
“You should not have spent that money.”
My head was swirling, and I couldn’t get back to sleep.
My usual practices of listening to a meditation or hypnosis, putting my hands on my heart and belly, were not working.
I pulled out The Comfort Book by Matt Haig, which lives up to its title. I opened it up to a random page, and it had the right medicine for me.
I calmed down a little bit.
I fell back to sleep.
To be honest, I had fitful dreams and woke up still feeling pretty shitty.
I said out loud, to no one in particular, “I feel shitty.”
I got out my yoga mat, went outside and did yoga to happy music.
A bounced up and down and gave the earth as much of my yucky energy as I could.
Then I saw a hummingbird.
Did you know that hummingbirds defy the laws of physics?
They aren’t supposed to fly.
But hummingbirds don’t care – they fly anyway.
They don’t even think, “I’m doing the thing that they say can’t be done.”
They just do it.
They drink only the sweetest nectar and fly.
Fuck what they “can’t” do.
What do you want?
To stay with the “shoulds” and shitty energy? Or drink nectar, say f* it, and fly?