I wish you a wonderful evening and day tomorrow.

As someone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas, I see it from the outside.

Can I be honest?

It can feel heavy with expectations.

Especially after these two years, as people may gather in larger groups, the pressure to “have a good time!” might be on.

My mom once told me (after splitting from my dad and beginning her spiritual journey)…

> Expectations can be “planned disappointments”.

Whatever your day/holiday is like, I invite you to hold yourself lightly and gently.

To treat yourself to a moment of tenderness (even if you have to go into the bathroom).

As Kristen Neff in her beautiful book Self-Compassion says:

Self-compassion provides an island of calm, a refuge from the stormy seas of endless positive and negative self-judgement so that we can finally stop asking, ‘Am I as good as they are? Am I good enough?’ Right here at our fingertips we have the means to provide ourselves with the warm, supportive care we deeply yearn for. (p. 13)

Here are 3 do-anywhere-anytime-tools to assist you this holiday season…

Give yourself a hug: If you’re feeling tense, upset, sad or self-critical, try giving yourself a warm hug. If other people are around you, you can fold your arms in a non-obvious way, gently squeezing yourself in a comforting manner. Even imagining hugging yourself can tap into the oxytocin system and change your experience. (Paraphrased from Self-Compassion, p. 50)

Ask yourself these questions: (From Self-Compassion, p. 52)

  • What am I observing?
  • What am I feeling?
  • What am I needing right now?
  • Do I have a request of myself or someone else?

Put your hands on your heart and say: (This one’s from Mel Robbin’s awesome book, The High Five Habit, a favorite among WILL members this year)

  • I am okay.
  • I am safe.
  • I am loved.

Until we meet again, may you find rest, comfort and love, at the very least within, your own heart.
💓 Elena

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