I wish you a wonderful evening and day tomorrow.
As someone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas, I see it from the outside.
Can I be honest?
It can feel heavy with expectations.
Especially after these two years, as people may gather in larger groups, the pressure to “have a good time!” might be on.
My mom once told me (after splitting from my dad and beginning her spiritual journey)…
> Expectations can be “planned disappointments”.
Whatever your day/holiday is like, I invite you to hold yourself lightly and gently.
To treat yourself to a moment of tenderness (even if you have to go into the bathroom).
As Kristen Neff in her beautiful book Self-Compassion says:
Self-compassion provides an island of calm, a refuge from the stormy seas of endless positive and negative self-judgement so that we can finally stop asking, ‘Am I as good as they are? Am I good enough?’ Right here at our fingertips we have the means to provide ourselves with the warm, supportive care we deeply yearn for. (p. 13)
Here are 3 do-anywhere-anytime-tools to assist you this holiday season…
Give yourself a hug: If you’re feeling tense, upset, sad or self-critical, try giving yourself a warm hug. If other people are around you, you can fold your arms in a non-obvious way, gently squeezing yourself in a comforting manner. Even imagining hugging yourself can tap into the oxytocin system and change your experience. (Paraphrased from Self-Compassion, p. 50)
Ask yourself these questions: (From Self-Compassion, p. 52)
- What am I observing?
- What am I feeling?
- What am I needing right now?
- Do I have a request of myself or someone else?
Put your hands on your heart and say: (This one’s from Mel Robbin’s awesome book, The High Five Habit, a favorite among WILL members this year)
- I am okay.
- I am safe.
- I am loved.
Until we meet again, may you find rest, comfort and love, at the very least within, your own heart.