“How can I stop being so mean to myself?”
The big takeaway from the workshop I ran earlier this week was…
Boundary setting is both an external AND and internal job.
I shared this framework (based on William Ury’s book The Power of a Positive No) and want YOU to put it into play for yourself…
For your soul…
For that part of you that is getting beaten up by the fearful inner critic and nervous Nellie that’s running the show.
Boundary setting can happen internally too. Before you go telling that partner, “No can do that (brief, document, project) this week, dude!”.
Grab a piece of paper and write the word YES!
Then write all things you want to do/say inside you.
YES! To being kinder to myself! YES! To leaving some emails in my inbox. YES! To having dinner with my husband and kids on Sunday night instead of working, getting cranky and more resentful.
Then write: NO.
NO. to what you are no longer willing to tolerate (ie, trash talking yourself, working on Sunday nights, responding to emails at 11 pm).
Finally – and this is super important, write……
Ask yourself questions – you don’t need to have the answer.
It’s like Rilke in Letters to a Young Poet. Just ask yourself the questions and then you will live into the answers.
How can I be kinder to myself?
How can I step away from the computer on Sunday night?
What will help me NOT reply to an email at 11 pm?
Leverage your BRAIN to help you find the answers. Feed it the questions – that’s the most important part.
Let’s all use this, okay?
Want help to apply and integrate this?
I’ve got you! Book a call right here and now.
Let’s stop this noisy, nasty internal nonsense.
So you can be free to be with yourself in a new way.
With the people you love.
Doing work in the world that lights you UP.
With love and so much gentleness,