No one wants to talk about shame. It’s unpleasant. The mess in the corner we try to ignore.
I recommend Brene Brown’s two TED Talks to all my clients. If you haven’t watched them, find links below.
She shares how shame thrives in the Petri dish of “silence, secrecy and judgement.”
Shame is universal. We all have felt the “warm wash” of shame.
Some my clients feel it and think, “Something is wrong with me if I want to leave.”
“I’m worried I’m going to be a loser.”
The antidote to shame, is empathy.
“If you put shame in a Petri dish, it needs three things to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence and judgment. If you put the same amount in a Petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can’t survive. The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle: me too.”
– Brene Brown, Listening to Shame TED Talk
This is the amazing thing that happens when my clients come together in group office hours. They hear each other’s stories and say, “I relate”. They break the isolation and shame of not being where they want in their careers and lives.