I recently attended a workshop with writer Elizabeth Gilbert at Kripalu, a yoga retreat center in the Berkshires of Massachusetts.

One of the things she said that I didn’t understand at first, but now has become a mantra is this… “No one cares.”

At first, I didn’t get it. But she went on to say: Everyone is busy with their own dramas, worries, projects, and dreams.

It took a little while for this to sink in… but now I take the main point be:

Don’t let what other people might think drive your decisions. The truth is, they’re not thinking about you that much. They are not invested in what you do.

Yes, you have family and friends who care what you do. And I’m not suggesting to act recklessly.

But I’ve learned from my conversations with women lawyers that they’re held back by what other people might think, such as, “I don’t want other people to think that I can’t hack it.”

Or they don’t want to disappoint a partner or mentor who has invested in them. Do they really care if you stay or go? And if so, for how long?

Try this on: “No one cares whether I stay in big law or not”. How does that feel? A little freeing perhaps?

I don’t have the answers for you. But I offer you this “no one cares” perspective in the hopes that it liberates you from making decisions about your life based on what other might think.

Because at the end of the day, you are the one who cares. Align your actions with what your heart and soul do care about.


If you are a lawyer who wants more freedom, autonomy, and clarity about your next career steps, I would love to see if I could help you. Please reach out here.


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